Gnome Rights

Fun Gnome Facts

All Gnomes Are Transgender!

Every single gnome is transgender! I (the gnome whisperer) know this because Big Red Gnome told me!

appendum for all the haters, Big Red Gnome is also transgender!

All Gnomes are Communists!

Every gnome lives in the platonic ideal of a commune.

All Gnomes Are My Friends!

As the gnome whisperer all gnomes are naturally inclined to want to hang out with me and thankfully as I am the gnome whisperer I am naturally inclined to want to hang out with gnomes!

All Gnomes Buildings Are Mystical

Every gnome structure is based off of a mysterious and recurring symbol in the universe which often entrances onlookers providing meaty nourishment to sneaky gnomes.

The Underground Is The Domain of The Gnome

Before they put trains in them, they were gnome tunnels. Drilled by their pointy hats.

Big Red Gnome's Favourite Song Is Townie By Mitski

He also wants to fall in love as fast as a body from a balcony but he is Big Red Gnome and no place is big enough to let him fall.

Gnomes have pointy teeth

Their teeth and hats are proportional to each other.

Gnomes are impervious to being stepped on

The rumours are true! They just bounce right back up.

As a collective, gnomes love creatures with shells

They draw parallels between their hats and the shells, creating a kinship.

Gnome genders are in a super position

Male? Female? Other? All at once? All I know is that they are transgender!

You can milk gnomes

They produce delicious but sometimes malicious gnome milk, a highly regulated commodity due to its ability to knock the drinker down dead if they annoy it.

Big mirror in the middle of Gnomeland

GNOME GNOME GNOME it sings to you creeping and crawling and writhing

Gnomes are made of gnomons

Gnomes are made of special particles called gnomons that are unique to gnomes.

Gnomes are longer than you think!

Possibly much longer!